Action; PG-13
2024
I think this is actually the worst movie I've ever seen.
And the worst part is, it's not one of those movies that know they're bad so they still make themselves badly entertaining, it's one of those movies that tried to take itself seriously so it's REALLY bad.
I don't even know why I'm giving this movie anything more than 0 stars. I guess Sydney Sweeney's character's costume was tuff. Y'know. The 2 whole times we saw that.
I don't even know where it went wrong. I think the entire script just screwed the whole thing over. The dialogue was some of the worst stuff I've EVER heard. It wasn't funny, it didn't add anything, and I think it honestly was the leading cause of the movie being so bad.
Then the acting was TERRIBLE. Which I don't even know why cuz there were some hella big names in there; Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, the guy from Severence. The last guy's acting was fine, but Dakota and Sweeney where such shit in this movie and I don't even know why it is. Same with the bad guy. His voice was more for a video game, and he didn't show any emotion at all throughout the whole thing.
Also, The plot was horrible. It took place in 2003 yet the "New York is a whole new level of crazy nowadays" guy had an Apple iPhone??? I think. And also why did Dakota even decide to help the girls??? Also, why was the guy who was evil, evil? Like, literally what did he do so that the girls wanted to kill him??? And how did she get to and from Peru so quickly????
Also the cinematography, and this is saying a lot bc I do not usually care about the cinematography unless it's really good, was absolute DOGSHIT. The entire first scene was full of The Office-style zoom-ins to characters faces and it looked like TOTAL SHIT.
Why am I even giving this higher than a half a star. Should I???
Okay well in conclusion, do not watch this movie unless you want to make fun of it. I will never be watching this movie again, and I am not glad I watched it. In my honest-to-God opinion, this was one of the biggest waste of times I think I've ever experienced.
SPOILERED REVIEW!
None :/
Am I glad I watched it?
No
Would I watch it again?
No
Would I recommend it to a friend?
No
Favorite Scene
None of Them!
No, seriously! I cannot remember a single good scene from this entire movie!
This movie was so shit. I mean, SO shit. Nothing was even memorable besides the bad parts and thats just cuz I made fun of them.
No, seriously, this movie is big biggest garbage fire of a movie yet made.